Back when I was younger, reading was my toilet activity of choice. Once I acquired a cell phone, it evolved to calling people and making conversation until that first grunt gave away what I was doing, leading to getting hung up on. Nowadays, with all the great games out on multiple portable platforms, gaming on the can has become the best option for me. If you are looking to get into this favorite past time of mine, here are some suggestions, in no particular order, based on my many, many hours of experience.
Peggle
PopCap is the master at making addictive games that go well on cellphones for toilet time. Having just released their pachinko-on-crack game on the iPhone makes it a really easy choice for when nature calls while out shopping or on the job. The only drawback is that if you do happen to be playing this out in public, you will more than likely need headphones in order to experience the heightened sense of excitement brought on by the ever elevating pitch of balls hitting pegs.
Rhythm Heaven
When you play a game done by the Nintendo team that co-developed the WarioWare series, you’re sure to get a fun, short and quirky experience. Rhythm Heaven is definitely each of these descriptors. Considering you absolutely have to go off of the beat rather than visuals, this is a title that, in public, will require either headphones or an “I could care less” approach to people staring at you after you get out of the stall. The best part: the frustrating stages can definitely help your pushes.
Flight Control
The people at Firemint succeeded in catching my attention with this fun and cheap iPhone game. While I never thought I’d be directing air traffic during bathroom breaks or whenever else it is that people play portable games, I found this game to be quite enjoyable. Drawing paths from incoming planes to guide them to the right landing strip without any crashing into each other is a great (and sound free) way to pass the time. Flight Control will eventually need your full attention though, once the screen is full of planes and helicopters even the slightest closed eye strain can spell Game Over.
Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
Because the storyline dialogue in this Grand Theft Auto is probably the worst I’ve seen (I don’t think I’ve heard many old Chinese men say “dude” before), I’m glad that I had gotten over the whole “reading on the toilet” phase. The rest of the game is phenomenal. Great art, nice and easy controls, inclusion of a bunch of the things we’ve grown to love from GTA4 (GPS/waypoints), shorter missions and a lovely Rockstar version of Drugwars all make this an ideal toilet toy. The terrible music that’s included in this game also means you’re not missing much when it comes to turning the sound off if you’re nerdy enough to be carrying your DS with you to the store.
Chrono Trigger DS
One of my all time favorite Japanese RPGs makes a wonderful can companion. I have just recently put this game back into my toilet rotation and I’m still amazed at how well this game has held up. With as many remakes as they’ve made with their different Final Fantasy games, it’s a mystery to me how Square Enix had only re-released this hugely popular game twice. This game was revolutionary back in its day and is actually still a cut above some of the JRPGs that manage to find their way over here today. What makes this game especially good for that number between one and three, you say? The nostalgic feeling I get from pulling off a well placed Triple Tech on Lavos is probably the best laxative I’ve tried yet.
Honorable Mention:
Patapon 2
While I am currently loving this game, a few things keep it from being toilet worthy. The fact that the game allows no pausing mid-stage, you need constant rhythm in order to keep up Fever mode and the stages can last longer than the average BM, you are left with two options. Either lose Fever mode and wipe or risk giving yourself more work after things dry out.
And there you have it. I hope this helped anyone out there that is having trouble figuring out what to play while doing that activity that a normal healthy person does one to three times daily.
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